By Segun Dipe
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
The above by Maya Angelou, an American poet, memoirist, and civil rights activist may read like some parting words from the Ekiti womenfolk, considering the height Erelu Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi, the two-term First Lady of Ekiti State has taken them, but there is no occasion as auspicious to say them as when the First Lady marks her 59th Birthday anniversary. And that is today, June 11, the eve of Nigeria’s Democracy Day.
Even if the present electioneering duty seems disinclined to let her remember it, today, June 11 is Erelu BAF’s day, and her teeming admirers won’t let the day go just like that without hollering at the celebrant.
This week of her Birthday has undoubtedly been the busiest ever for Erelu Fayemi. It is characterised by serious politicking on behalf of her husband Governor John Kayode Fayemi, who gave the presidency of the country his best shot, and that of her political “son,” Biodun Abayomi Oyebanji, the likely successor to the two-term Gov. Fayemi in Ekiti, which crests in the coming week. Where then is the time to roll out the drums to mark a natal day?
Yet, give it to Erelu Bisi Fayemi that she is a phenomenal woman, a woman of allure, a truly empowered woman who knows how to love herself and love others, completely. Drums or no drums, she will be abundantly celebrated.
Throughout the years, history has seen some firmly intelligent, powerful and inspirational women who have been acclaimed as undaunted fighters for women’s rights and equality. Bisi Fayemi fits perfectly into such league. And, although she may not agree with it, I dare say there are some commonalities between her and Hillary Clinton a Senator and strong contender for the presidential seat of the United States. For starters, both are avowed feminists who equate women rights to human rights.
During the 1992 campaign, Bill Clinton sometimes spoke of a “twofer” (“two for the price of one”) presidency, in apparent reference to the strong influence of his wife, Hillary, in his performance as President.
In a post on social media, Fayemi also gushed about his wife, thanking her for being an amazing wife, a loving partner and a wonderful mother to their child. “If you know my wife, you’ll know that she is very intelligent, quite attractive and pretty,” he would always say.
During the 1992 presidential campaign, Hillary herself attested to the fact when she observed, “Our lives are a mixture of different roles. Most of us are doing the best we can to find whatever the right balance is . . . For me, that balance is family, work, and service.”
Bisi on the other hand described her husband as intelligent, competent, savvy and focused,
Hillary served as Arkansas’s First Lady for 12 years, balancing family, law, and public service. She chaired the Arkansas Educational Standards Committee, co-founded the Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families, and served on the boards of the Arkansas Children’s Hospital, Legal Services, and the Children’s Defense Fund.
As the nation’s First Lady, Hillary continued to balance public service with private life. Her active role began in 1993 when the President asked her to chair the Task Force on National Health Care Reform. She continued to be a leading advocate for expanding health insurance coverage, ensuring children are properly immunized, and raising public awareness of health issues. She wrote a weekly newspaper column entitled “Talking It Over,” which focused on her experiences as First Lady and her observations of women, children, and families she has met around the world. Her 1996 book “It Takes a Village and Other Lessons Children Teach Us” was a best seller, and she received a Grammy Award for her recording of it.
As First Lady, her public involvement with many activities sometimes led to controversy. Undeterred by critics, Hillary won many admirers for her staunch support for women around the world and her commitment to children’s issues.
Equally on Bisi’s part, When her husband Dr. Kayode Fayemi took office as Governor of Ekiti State, Nigeria, she became actively involved in a range of policy advocacy, grassroots empowerment and social inclusion programmes in Ekiti State. She led the campaign to enact a Gender Based Violence Prohibition Law (2011), revised in October 2019), an Equal Opportunities Bill (2013) and a HIV Anti-Stigma Bill (2014). She continues to work on the implementation and sustainability of these initiatives as First Lady of Ekiti State for the second time.
She serves on the Executive Boards of the African Women’s Development Fund. She is Chair of the Advisory Council of the Nigerian Women’s Trust Fund and also serves on the Governing Council of Elizade University in Nigeria. She is currently Chair of the Gender Based Violence Law Management Committee, Ekiti State and Chair, Ekiti State AIDS Control Agency.[18] She is also on the Steering Committee of the Regional African Women Leaders Network (AWLN) and a member of AWLN-Nigeria Steering Steering Committee where she serves as an Adviser.
Hillary and Bill met in the Yale Law School. Both Bill and Hillary often recall how they met in the library when she strode up to him and said, “If you’re going to keep staring at me, I might as well introduce myself.” The two were soon inseparable partners in moot court, political campaigns, and matters of the heart.
Ditto for Kayode and Bisi Fayemi who met during their master’s programme in Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife. Bisi once narrated how the relationship started after a chance meeting in the library of OAU thus:
“It started in Ife. He attended University of Lagos, UNILAG and came to Ife to do Master’s in International Relations. I did a Master’s in History but I did elective in the department of International Relations. I knew him in my class as someone very quiet and good looking. One day, I was in the library and I needed to borrow some books from the library and I was not with my library card and I looked around to see anyone who could help me take the books out.
“I saw Kayode sitting on the other side. I walked up to him and very politely asked if he had his library card on him and he said ‘Yes’ and I told him that I needed to take some books out and asked: “Do you mind borrowing the books for me?” And he said, ‘Of course’ and I gave him the list of the books and l told him I would come and pick the books from his room and that was it and the rest is history”.
And Kayode corroborated it thus: “We had joint courses, and I kind of knew of her in class and we related from a distance but then on this fortuitous occasion, I was in the library and she was in the library and she needed a library card to borrow some books she wanted to use for an assignment, because she had forgotten her library card, and I came to her rescue and, as they say, the story developed from there.”
For both relationships, that is, Bill and Hillary, Kayode and Bisi, their meetings were smitten more on the beauty of intellect. Bill described his wife, Hillary, as the exuding “this sense of strength and self-possession that I found magnetic.” Kayode also said of his wife, Bisi as “…very intelligent, quite attractive and pretty.”
And was it out of sheer coincidence that both the father of Hillary and that of Bisi would teach them differently that they were equal to any man? Anyhow, Hillary is not Bisi and Bisi is not Hillary. Both are poles apart, age and culture wise.
Adeleye-Fayemi is the author of Loud Whispers (2017), Speaking for Myself (2013), and an autobiography entitled Speaking above a Whisper (2013). She also co-edited Voice, Power and Soul.
Erelu, as popularly addressed, was given the “Changing the Face of Philanthropy” award by the Women’s Funding Network in 2007, and was named one of the 20 most influential African women in 2009 by New African magazine. In 2011, Women Deliver listed her as one of the top 100 people in the world, advancing the rights of women and girls.
In 2019, she was awarded the 2018 Zik Leadership Prize for humanitarian Leadership by Public Policy Research and Analysis Centre (PPRAC).
Bisi Fayemi is such an amazing, loving and wonderful woman of substance. Her kind heart knows how to care for people and she is always there for anyone who needs her support. Despite these soft sides, and notwithstanding that the sex to which she belongs is considered weak, Erelu BAF is no one’s sissy. Anyone who dares to take Erelu BAF for granted will, nevertheless, find her a rock that bends to no wind.
Happy Birthday to our phenomenal First Lady in Ekiti State. Please age with sufficient grace as you continue to to achieve a healthy, well-balanced life full of joy and respect.
–Dipe is the Ekiti State Publicity Secretary of the All Progressives Congress, APC
